
The Effortless CEO
Design a life first business that works even when you don't.
The Effortless CEO
#187 Why You Can’t Stop Working (Even When You Finally Have the Time)
Did you enjoy this episode? Share you aha moment with us!
This episode for every business owner who finally frees up time — only to immediately fill it with more work.
You finish your to-do list early. You could rest. But instead, you say, “Let me just get a head start on tomorrow.”
Sound familiar?
In this episode, I break down what’s really happening when you can’t stop working — even when the work is done. We’ll look at the neuroscience behind overworking, the habit loop that keeps you stuck in busy mode, and why rest feels so uncomfortable for high-achievers.
Apply to work with me here, and let's start designing a business that works FOR YOU.
Link to Music Credits
Track: Positive Motivation
Author: AShamaluevMusic (ASM)
Publisher: CD Baby (IPI 700570289)
Connect With Ilonka On Social Media
Instagram | Facebook | YouTube
Have you ever finally gotten to the end of your to-do list or at least the end of what you planned for the day and instead of resting, taking time off, your first thought is, maybe I should get a head start on tomorrow. This is exactly what one of my clients messaged me last week. She planned her week in advance, which is something I teach all of my clients to do. She prioritised and she really stuck to all of her boundaries and she was done.
with all of her work by 2pm. Here's the message she sent me. I just finished everything I planned for the day. I've got free time. Yay. I'm thinking maybe I should get started on tomorrow's stuff so that I can get ahead. What are your thoughts on this? Now I have a lot of thoughts on this and I wanted to share it with you today and hopefully shift your relationship with white space, free time, not working, resting.
when every cell in your body is screaming at you to do something useful and productive. Every business owner that comes to me for coaching wants more free time in their schedule. They want to work fewer hours and have time to live more of their life, to enjoy things outside of their business. Yet, inevitably, once they create the free space, the time that they so desperately want, they want to fill it with work again. Why is this?
Well, it's because not working feels very strange, uncomfortable even, sometimes even unsafe. We're not used to the space. We're not used to doing nothing. We're used to hustling, to getting things done. So instead of using the time for rest or creativity or even just doing nothing, we look for the familiar. We go straight back to what we know, which is work. And like my client,
we often convince ourselves that we're being proactive or getting ahead. So what's really happening here? Your brain is wired for efficiency and familiarity. Even if your current pattern is stressful, it is also predictable. That means your brain sees it as safe. Doing more, working, focusing on the business feels safe. It's the familiar pattern. You are used to being switched on.
Ilonka Ras (02:33.278)
solving problems, thinking about the business, your clients 24-7. When you introduce a new pattern, like stopping work at 2pm, it triggers discomfort. Your brain interprets that discomfort as a threat. This isn't normal, something is wrong, let's go back to what we know. We now have the free time available, but this isn't what we're used to. We think that doing nothing is irresponsible.
We have lots of thoughts about what we should be or could be doing instead. Because we've been hustling for so long, it's the standard. Anything else is foreign. So our first response is to fill that free time with something productive. We open our laptop to check emails, we look at tomorrow's plan, and we tell ourselves that we should focus on this so that we can get ahead. Working, which is the thing that is familiar,
soothes the uncomfortable feeling of doing nothing, of resting. And every time you full rest or downtime with work, you are basically reinforcing this loop that doing equals safety and resting equals danger. There is another layer here as well. Many of us, especially women in business, have internalized the belief that our value is tied to how much we do. We're praised for being high achievers, dependable, efficient.
So when we're not doing something, it feels like we're not being ourselves. Rest can even feel irresponsible. Taking a break can feel like we're slacking. Even if no one else is judging us, we're often judging ourselves the hardest. Now, it might feel very innocent, but this constant pushing can cost us. We're so focused on getting things done that we lose our sense of experimenting and playing. Many of my clients will say that it feels like their creativity has dried up.
Decision fatigue creeps in. We become reactive to everything around us and we're living in this constant state of anxiety, overwhelm, frustration and slowly but surely we burn out. So here's what I told my client. What if your job today is to do nothing else? What if your win is not filling the time? I challenged her to notice the uneasy feeling she had about not working, to notice what came up.
Ilonka Ras (04:55.224)
guilt, restlessness, maybe even panic, and not fixing it by jumping back into work. She spent the rest of her afternoon with her family, just being with them, not needing to be anywhere, do anything. Now here's your invitation this week. Next time you finish early, resist the urge to get ahead. Instead, do nothing, even if it's just 20 minutes. Watch what your brain does.
Ilonka Ras (05:27.294)
Notice what it's saying to you. It might be saying things like, we can't just sit and do nothing. We have work to do. The more you allow yourself to do nothing, to not fill all the white space in your schedule with something productive, the more you will teach your nervous system that this is actually good for us. This is safe. We all crave more time. We want to be more present. And yet, how we spend our time, what we do in the white space that is available to us, tells a very different story. You don't have to earn rest. You're not lazy for taking a break. If anything, learning to not work, learning to rest,
to play, to switch off from your business might just be the most productive thing you do this year. Thank you so much for tuning in this week. I will see you again next week.