#168 Allowing Help - the path to faster growth.

In this episode of the Effortless CEO podcast, Ilonka Ras shares her personal journey of overcoming the challenges of asking for help in business. She emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and seeking guidance from coaches to enhance operational efficiency and personal growth. Through her experiences, she highlights that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a strategic move towards success. The conversation encourages business owners to embrace vulnerability and recognise that they are not alone in their struggles.

Apply to work with me here, and let's start designing a business that works FOR YOU.

Link to Music Credits
Track: Positive Motivation
Author: AShamaluevMusic (ASM)
Publisher: CD Baby (IPI 700570289)

Connect With Ilonka On Social Media
Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

Transcript

Ilonka Ras (00:01.292)
Welcome to the Effortless CEO podcast, the only show that teaches South African business owners how to improve their operations and design a business that can run without them. If you're interested in leading your team more effectively, creating more operational efficiency, delivering with excellence while getting some of your life back, then you're in the right place. Here's your host, strategic intervention coach and operations specialist, Ilonka Russ.

Ilonka Ras (00:34.228)
Welcome to this week's episode. I want to share a personal experience that I have been going through over the last couple of weeks because I think it's going to be helpful if you are firstly in a similar situation or if you are the type of person that finds it really hard to ask for and allow help, not just in your personal life, but specifically in your business. I want to share this experience because I think it's going to be a great reminder.

that it doesn't matter how good you are at what you do. Sometimes we need help. Being a business owner is being a professional problem solver. Being an entrepreneur, being in business means that you are constantly having to solve problems for yourself, for your clients. And we are really great at figuring things out on our own. We often pride ourselves in the fact that we have the answer.

that we know what to do and that we are resilient, that we are resourceful, that we can figure things out. But sometimes you hit a wall. Sometimes what you're doing stops working or you try a bunch of things and it's not creating the outcome. It's not creating the results that you want. And so you hit this wall. And what I have found is that instead of asking for help, instead of reaching out the

first response is to try and figure it out by ourselves, because we're problem solvers, right? Because we know how to solve problems. We sometimes think that, you know, we can solve this problem as well. And that's not necessarily untrue, but what I have learned in this experience that I've been going through over the last couple of weeks is that the faster we ask for help, the faster we can find the answer, the faster we can get to the solution.

the faster we can action on the solution and the faster we can create the results that we want to create. So I recently felt really stuck in two specific areas inside of my business. Firstly, around marketing and my strategy for bringing new clients into my business. And secondly, with my mindset, because to me mindset is everything and it's always, it's always part of the equation, right? And so I wanted to get help around these two topics. So I actually invested

Ilonka Ras (02:59.082)
in two coaches, one for marketing specifically and one for mindset. And this is probably two of the biggest investments I've made so far inside of my business. And I do understand that the amount of money that I've spent on these coaches probably also had an impact on how I felt immediately after I hit that pay now button. I was like,

looking through this experience and sifting through the thoughts and the emotions that were coming up for me and I just want to share this with you because I think it's going to be helpful for you as well. I felt surprisingly vulnerable and so nervous deciding to get help on these things and I noticed this the first time I was supposed to fill out a questionnaire for the marketing coach so that she could understand exactly what my problem was and exactly like what the the matrix were that I was measuring.

And just so that she could like see the behind the scenes of this thing that I'm struggling with. And so she asked me a bunch of questions and I had to submit that before our first coaching session. And as I was filling out the questions, I noticed very triggering thoughts like, my word, I don't know if I want to share this. What is she going to think about me? I should be further along. She's going to think I'm a completely clueless person.

And I just felt so vulnerable. And lot of it has to do with the fact that I am a business coach. I'm also, when it comes to like my friends and family, I'm typically the one that people will come to for advice or help, right? They would share their challenges with me quite easily. And I would always sort of be the one that they would come to for guidance. All of a sudden being on the opposite side of that felt really scary. And it's interesting because I have always worked with coaches

since starting my business journey, but this felt different. And I think a lot of it came from the fact that I had been able to move pretty quickly in my business and get to a place where, you know, I grew as a business and not just as a business, but as a person as well. And I think there was almost like a new level of unknown that was unlocked for me. I think they call it the...

Ilonka Ras (05:17.834)
The Kruger-Dunning effect, where the more information you have, the more you know, the more expertise you gain, the more you understand that you don't know everything. That there's so much that you don't know. And that can make us doubt ourselves. That can actually increase the level of doubt and imposter syndrome that we might have in our own fields.

And I think that is exactly what happened to me because I've learned so much over the years that I felt like I should know this. I should have the answer to this. And the fact that I didn't felt very exposing in a way. And so you might be in a situation in your business where you feel like you're stuck, where you are frustrated, where you know that you have tried so many things and it's not working. You're not making the progress that you want to make. You're not seeing the results that you want to see.

And you might, just like me, feel a little bit scared about reaching out and saying, hey, I don't know how to do this, or I don't know what to do here. And allowing someone into your business to look at the back end of your business and to take a flashlight and shine it on all those little dark corners.

that you have maybe worked really hard to show everyone on the outside that things are going really well and it's just like working and nothing's wrong. But in the meantime, back at band camp, it's like chaos. It's a disaster, right? You're not sleeping at night. And so there is a lot of fear of judgment and embarrassment and thinking that asking for help and allowing someone to see that part of us, to see the behind the scenes.

that we have somehow failed because it isn't perfect. It isn't where we would like it to be. I want to remind you that just because you're asking for help and just because you might feel a little bit embarrassed, you might feel some judgment, not that you're necessarily going to be judged, but you might be afraid of that. Asking for help doesn't mean that you're not good at what you do. It doesn't mean that you're not competent. It doesn't mean that you're not capable. If you're the type of person like

Ilonka Ras (07:32.002)
like I am that people usually come to for help, like you're usually the one that helps others. Admitting that you're stuck can feel especially odd. It has been such a profound experience. My business is changed forever. I feel so much lighter about the things that I'm doing inside of my business. And if I didn't ask for help, if I didn't reach out and say, you know what, I'm stuck. have no idea what the heck I'm doing.

I would not have the clarity and the direction that I have right now. Because funny enough, I was speaking to this coach and we were talking about my webinar process specifically. I was just explaining, I mean, in like the first 15 minutes of our time together, I was explaining my process and explaining to her what I was doing. And she immediately saw the problem. She immediately spotted it. And she was like, this is why it's not working. Just don't do this thing. Do this instead.

And so I'm going to taste that now I actually have a webinar coming up in a couple of weeks, but it was just so fascinating and freeing to experience that sense of like, okay, I know what the problem is now. I can see what I've been doing wrong and I can clearly see what I need to change. Like I have a plan of action that felt so liberating and so empowering because I was spinning in this thing for weeks. And after getting off of that call,

I felt the relief, but I also felt a little bit frustrated with myself because I was like, why did I wait so long to ask for help? Why didn't I do this six months ago when I started experiencing this problem? It would have saved me so much time, so much stress, so much energy. Regardless of that, things happen when they are supposed to happen and that's also okay. I think the biggest realization for me was that asking for help isn't weakness.

doesn't matter what level of business you're in, it doesn't matter how long you've been playing this game, it doesn't matter how much knowledge and how much experience you have, it isn't a weakness, it's actually smart, strategic leadership, right? Because we need to be willing to ask for help, we need to be willing to be vulnerable, to be the not so smart person in the room, and to allow someone else to give us the critical feedback that we need.

Ilonka Ras (09:54.188)
This is your reminder that needing help doesn't diminish your expertise, your talent, and asking for help doesn't mean that you're failing. It actually means that you're growing, right? It means that you're willing to be vulnerable. It means that you're willing to be embarrassed and to be judged and to get the side eye because you're doing things that you shouldn't be doing according to whatever the standard is, right? It means that you're willing to do that.

so that you can grow, so that you can learn the lesson and take the action and move beyond the thing that you've felt stuck in for so long. Being successful means that failure is inevitable, right? It's part of the process. It's part of the journey. If we want to be successful, if we want to move forward on whatever it is that we want to move forward on, we need to allow ourselves to be supported. We need to allow the help because it's one thing asking for help and they're not actually

taking action on the help or taking action on the guidance, like getting the guidance, getting the advice. And then we're just like, you know, I know better. I'm just going to do the thing that I think I should be doing. That's one thing that I promised myself in making this investment. was a lot of money. And I say to myself, you know what? It doesn't matter how uncomfortable it is. doesn't matter whether I agree or not. I'm just going to do whatever the heck they tell me to do. I'm just going to allow myself to actually do it.

and to not fight against it. And it's been such a powerful reminder for me. I wanted to share this with you because I'm guessing that there are things inside of your business that you might also feel, you know, I need help with this and I'm not entirely sure what my next step is. So if you are feeling stuck, if you're feeling overwhelmed, I want you to consider where you might not be allowing support for yourself right now, where you might not be asking for the help that you need.

Right? Because we're in essence not meant to do this alone. We're not supposed to struggle alone in all of this business isn't easy. And it's okay for us to reach out and say, you know what? I have no idea what I'm doing here. Can you please guide me? Can you please show me and learning from people who have done what you want to do, who have walked that path.

Ilonka Ras (12:12.038)
and can tell you, don't step on that stone. That's where you're going to slip or bump your toe or whatever it is. My parting message for you today is that asking for help is brave. Being vulnerable is brave and it is exactly what strong business leaders and business owners do. I hope you have an awesome day. I'll chat to you again next week.